Moving through Jealousy

A client recently came to me because he was struggling to keep focus on his vision and was feeling zapped of time and energy. He needed to figure out how to regain the power to take his business to the next level. 

As we talked about his situation, it quickly became clear that he had fallen into a pattern of  “Comparing + Despairing”. Despite his many accomplishments, he felt he had done less than other people in his field. He felt “less than”—and he was jealous of his competitors.

A wise friend once said to me “Keep your eyes on your own paper,” a reminder that the only race we run is with ourselves and the only comparison is to our own growth.

Jealousy can be one of the biggest stealers of vision energy, but with a shift in perspective, difficult emotions, like jealousy, can signal opportunities to grow into and beyond our edges. They can shake us out of comfort zones that no longer serve us and, even though the journey into unchartered territory can leave us feeling vulnerable, even scared, there is much to be gained. As Rumi said, “This being Human is a Guest House, every morning a new arrival.... Be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from the beyond.”

So how can you use jealousy as a guide to move you and your business forward? For starters, when you feel yourself slipping into jealousy, stop, breathe, and take a few moments to ask yourself: Do I want to feed jealousy, scarcity, envy, and “not enough”, or do I want to grow abundance, generosity, prosperity, and collaboration? You know the answer, so embrace it. Then, to bring awareness to and cultivate wisdom from jealousy, practice the following meditation. 

Meditation on Jealousy:
You’ll need:

  • a timer set for 15 minutes
  • a journal and a pen
  • a comfortable place to lie down where you will be undisturbed and where you can relax your body completely
  • optional pillows, blanket, sweater or socks. Be completely comfortable. 

Here are the steps:

  • Lie down and find a comfortable position where you will be able to relax your body completely.
  • Start your timer now. 
  • Close your eyes and focus in on your breath. With each breath, go deeper into your body. Let go of yesterday. Let go of tomorrow and allow yourself to become more and more present with your body.
  • Gently bring your focus onto the emotion of jealousy, however it presents itself to you. Allow your attention to draw closer to the feeling of jealousy.
  • Scan your body locating this feeling in your body. Scan your head and face, neck and throat, shoulders and arms, chest and belly and all of the organs in your chest and belly, legs and all the way into your feet. Scanning your spine all the way down your back body into your feet and toes. 
  • As the feeling becomes more pronounced, ask the following questions slowly, leaving time to hear the answers:
    • How does jealousy appear in my body?
    • Where is it located? Allow your attention to draw to the place where it is located and bring your breath there
    • Does my body hold itself in a certain way when I feel jealous? Notice any patterns of tension or holding when this feeling arises
    • What are my thoughts when I am jealousy? What is my mind telling me about this feeling?
    • What other emotions come up?
    • If my jealousy could speak to me, what would it say?
  • Take as much time as you need here. 
  • Examine, without judgment, any answers that come up.
  • Focus the emotion and allow it to move through your body and release it completely. 
  • When you feel that the emotion has released completely, breathe positive feelings into the place where jealousy was held in your body until you feel the pattern has been shifted.

When the timer rings or you feel complete, bring yourself out of the meditation by slowly coming back into the room and open your eyes when you are ready. Take a few minutes to write about your experience. You may later want to review your meditation with someone skilled in moving through difficult emotions.

If you would like support in understanding and transforming negative emotions as they arise as a business owner, let’s schedule a session soon.

Next month, we will continue to explore bringing Deep Business principles into our businesses and our lives. Until next time, I wish for you to reach the top of your own mountain, raise your hands, let the sun into your heart, and breathe into your own accomplishments. 

Suzanne Katanic

Mudita Inc, Homestead St., San Francisco, CA 94114, United States